Otis Redding - Sitting On The Dock of the Bay

I’m lying to Myself

While I’ve been bragging about the business partnership and how it is progressing, in my mind I think I’m just lying to my true self. I think I’m succumbing to my father’s wishes and what he sees as success. So, in trying to be a good son, I am sacrificing my being to satisfy his wishes. I can’t do it anymore. Oscar Wilde said it the best and I agree: “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place

The company venture with my business partner is going okay so far. It’s slow, but sure. However, we have reached an impass, which raises a question: How do you convince an industry who doesn’t trust you and possibly sees you as a threat to give you a chance? A tough question for sure.

Not done yet with life.

The more I look back on all the things I have done in my life, the more I realize that I’m not yet done living.   I have lived in our Nation’s Capital, travelled all over Europe, where I got to experience the history and also research my family’s past.  I attended Mass at the Sistine Chapel when Pope John Paul II was still alive.   I got to audition for The X Factor twice in Dallas and San Francisco.  I’ve been to New York City twice.  I’ve met some amazing people in my life, and some not so amazing ones.  Lol!  Plus, I went back to school and earned my Bachelor’s Degree from The Univeristy of Texas at Arlington.  I can’t wait to see what my future has in store.   #EnjoyLife 

There’s always one sibling…

I am one of four children: two older sisters, myself, and one younger sister. Over the years, I have developed a unique relationship with each of them. Unfortunately, the one sibling I thought I was closest to growing up has become the most distant of them all. My oldest sister has become an example of responsibility and one that grounds me, and the youngest helps me understand that life should be enjoyed. The middle sibling is one devoid of insight and fulfillment of life. She is so stressed out that no one can connect with her anymore. I don’t know if her personality now is of her own doing, or if her husband has sucked the personality out of her. Needless to say, I won’t let her negativity affect my life.

I’ve read the comic strip and watched the TV specials. I can’t wait to see the movie.

Being single is a tough road with family.

I am hanging out at my parents’ house and my sisters and brothers-in-law are here along with my nephews and nieces. It’s usually a good time, but when all your siblings are married and they have kids, it makes you feel like the odd man out. Love my sisters, but it makes you feel like you did something wrong by not getting married and having children.

Trying to form a business partnership is hard.

Over the past couple of months, I have been trying to set up a company with one of my Dad’s friends with the intention of helping others gain employment in schools located in Texas.   It started with the best intentions, however I am now experiencing difficulty.   My business partner is a workaholic, which means I receive emails at 1am, which I don’t mind.  My biggest difficulty with him is the fact that he know nothing about being a team player and does all the work and leaves me with the scraps, like I’m some sort of glorified administrative assistant.   I have to admit, that would upset anyone who wants to make money and become successful.  This is definitely not what I had in mind.   My goal was to start up a Limited Liability Corporation, or maybe an S-Corp.   That way, when it becomes successful, I could still fulfill my dream of moving to New York City, and I could also conduct the business from there.   It looks like I will have to put my foot down and set up the parameters of this partnership.   If he wishes to continue down this path, I will just have to continue my current job hunt and hopefully gain employment in New York.   

One thing I’ve realized recently is that I have spent all my time trying to prove myself to employers and companies that I can satisfy the qualifications they have, only to have them reject me time and time again. Now I understand I know what I can do and what I am capable of and if these companies don’t believe in my potential, then that is their loss. The human potential is the largest factor to determine what a person can do in life, not what’s on paper. #breakthemold

Never Let Negative Opinions Kill Your Dreams!!!

I went on a highway trip with one of my Dad’s friends to help him drive because he recently had an eye surgery.  I thought to myself, “Why not?   I can get away from Dallas for a few days.”   Everything was good the first day.   It was really good, until the second day came around.  After leaving Houston bound for San Antonio, he started talking to me about my life.   I normally just ignore people trying to tell me what to do with my life, until he said. “There is a 99.9% chance you will never go to New York City and probably stay in Dallas.”  All of a sudden, a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time resurfaced.   That feeling was rage.   My heart starting beating so hard, I thought it was gonna beat out of my chest.   I felt like I had a lump in my throat and I could feel the adrenaline running through my veins.   In the past, I would have said, “Pull the car over and let me out.”   Then I would have called my cousin, who lives in Houston and had him drive me to the airport so I could fly home.   This time, I think i handled it well.   I just sat there, nodded my head and we continued on to San Antonio.   Once we got settled and went to go eat dinner at Mi Tierra (which, by the way, is an awesome place and you should go when you get a chance), I decided to explain to him, “Listen, I appreciate your advice, but for the rest of this trip, I am going to relax, and you’re not gonna talk about me and my life.”   He respected my wishes and we went on the rest of the trip.  After analyzing that comment, I realized that he really doesn’t know me at all.   How dare he tell me that I’m not gonna live my dream.   All I can say now is that I want to go to New York City even more.   NO ONE is going to try to kill my dream of making it to New York City to teach and perform music!   Needless to say, the next time I see my Dad’s friend, I will be nice, but I will not talk about anything going on in my life to him.  He has achieved his dream, now I will achieve mine, without his help.    

Limelight is one of my favorite songs, because it paraphrases William Shakespeare’s “As You Like It”.  My favorite lyrics of the song is:

"All the world’s indeed a stage, 
And we are merely players, 
Performers and portrayers, 
Each another’s audience
Outside the gilded cage.”